Opportunity presents itself when the time is right. I created the myofascial release curriculum for a local massage school and began teaching it at the school’s inception years later. I had also taken over directing the continuing education division of the school while maintaining my private practice.
I trusted my peers and was committed to the school’s mission.
I loved the people I worked with. They were and still are brilliant, well educated, open minded, diverse, and authentic. I miss them.
The faculty were all talented, generous, and committed to their path as well as the promotion of wellness in many forms.
I applied for and accepted the position of Executive Director when the founding Director stepped down.
I had big shoes to fill. I was both excited and intimidated.
What I brought with me from my past was the belief that “anything could happen” if people felt safe. While I knew there would be many challenges, new experiences, and a lot of hard work ahead of me, I believed I knew how to make people feel safe and was sure the school would thrive.
My first day “on the job” should have forewarned me of the future to come, but at the time I was blissfully ignorant and naïve.
I drove through a snowstorm to arrive at 8:00 am and let myself in the building.
I found my new office with name and title printed neatly by the door, but could not enter as it was locked, and I did not have a key.
So, I stationed myself at the front desk and waited for people to arrive.
I waited and waited.
The phone began ringing and I dutifully answered it for a while, but then realized I did not know the answers to any of the questions, so I stopped answering the phone.
As the minutes ticked by, I began doubting the day of the week, the date of the year, the time of the day, and if the school was even in session.
I called the acting Director, but he did not answer his phone.
Literally, hours later, someone finally arrived and I was informed the school was closed due to the snowstorm.
They forgot to tell me.
The next day was better. At minimum, people came to work, students arrived for classes, and I was given a key to my office.
My training began as I shadowed the existing ED for the next several weeks, and relationships were built with my new community.
It was a big job with a lot of moving parts. It was both difficult and simple. In its simplest form it required “responding” to whatever came up each day.
In the beginning every day was an adventure. Due to the demographic of the community, I was constantly being exposed to ideas and situations I had never encountered.
I believed I would stay at the school until I was ready to retire.
Once the founding ED left, I realized they “forgot to tell me” a few things about the job during my training.
While my days were filled with executive meetings, correspondences, and decision making, there was also a fair amount of managing staff, faculty, and student “issues.”
It was the “issues” part of my work that I could entitle “things I thought I would never say out loud.”
My top 5 would be:
1. Telling people it is better to “be” the Easter Bunny than Santa Claus because, “middle-aged women like to grope Santa” is not a good ice breaker.
2. Don’t pick your nose and then touch someone… Same goes with toileting, scratching yourself, and licking your fingers.
3. If you make a practice of drinking your own urine, use a personal cup and don’t leave it in a public space.
4. Sweat stones don’t work. Wash your pits and use deodorant before massaging.
5. You can’t smoke herbs in school even if they are legal and you bought them at the Co-Op.
There were many more amazing adults attending the school than not. However, my job was similar to that of the “principal,” and therefore, if someone was summoned to my office it was not for good behavior.
I was surprised that so much “parenting” was necessary in an adult education setting.
I was also surprised that “building and property manager” fell under the ED duty list when I took the job. We were soon introduced, and I spent a lot of time plunging toilets and scratching my head at how to solve this book of riddles.
As the job revealed itself, I felt stretched a bit, but confident that I could morph with what was needed and successfully navigate my new role.
I was wrong.
I’ve had some look back time to reflect on what life lessons I learned during my seven-year tenure.
Tasks can be learned by anyone and I believe success is just a matter of effort and diligence.
Overcoming an energetic and spiritual split within an organization is a treacherous journey.
The split I experienced at the helm of my ship was blindingly apparent because the people in each camp were polarly opposed.
One camp was driven by love.
Staff laid the foundation and created a nest for magic to occur.
It was our job to create a safe space while setting appropriate boundaries and structure for sustainability and growth.
Dedicated and passionate about their work and path, were the faculty members. They provided the heart and soul of the school and it is their energy that drew like-minded individuals to us. They created the sparks and fanned the embers of their craft to inspire our students to find and follow their individual passion.
Students came and went like the tides of the ocean. They made their temporary mark in the sand and then the next wave would come in and imprint theirs. It was like the movie Groundhog’s Day. We learned something from each group and tried our best to improve the experience for the next round.
The other camp was driven by fear.
I bumped up against my belief that “anything is possible if you create a safe space.”
I did not know that there is no safe space for some people.
We are powerless when our efforts at creating safety can’t be received.
As the song goes – “ain’t no mountain high enough….”
The mystery is theirs to solve.
Perhaps they have never had the experience of feeling safe.
Perhaps they are deeply wounded.
Perhaps they want to feel safe and are unable to allow such vulnerability.
Regardless, the opposite of feeling safe is living in fear.
Anything can happen here also.
Fear breeds paranoia, anxiety, and self-preserving actions and thoughts.
A fear scaffold is destructive and dangerous. It gives permission for people to do and say things that they would otherwise not consider.
No one wants to feel fear and it does not exist in a vacuum.
Fear and love can vacillate. Both can be witnessed and drive opposing actions in the same person.
Perhaps this is why narcissism and co-dependency are so hard to break away from.
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