Last Act

My eldest daughter graduated college the same week I left the school.

In the aftermath of my transition, I was a bit rudderless.

I couldn’t focus on much and I was not sure what to do next. I wanted to wander for a while, but I was no longer a single college grad with no responsibilities.

I knew I never wanted to waste endless hours on work that would one day be shredded. I repeated that twice in my life and vowed never to do so again.

I knew I never ever wanted to work for anyone I could not trust.

I was afraid to return to bodywork.

My body hurt, and overcoming the inertia required to start all over again was overwhelming,

I allowed myself the summer to connect with my family and just “Be.”

Time is the great healer, and I was able to come back to myself a bit.

Inevitably I had to go back to work.

I owe a great gratitude to a dear colleague and friend who relentlessly urged me to rent space where he was practicing.

I trusted him enough to believe this was a safe space and launched myself back into private practice.

It was as good as it could get.

I set a lot of boundaries right off the bat and attempted to correct every mistake made in previous private practices.

I kept things simple, didn’t overspend, and chose my client base carefully.

I found my work very fulfilling and genuinely liked my clients and the people I practiced alongside.

Gone were the days of over caretaking and overbooking. I did my best to take care of myself by limiting my numbers and providing myself with self-care to preserve my physical status.

The pinnacle of my experience occurred when I was asked to join a medical mission to Africa.

My journey to rural Uganda crept up on me one day and knocked on my back door.

Admittedly, my internal dialogue often debates how to continue using my two hands for the years necessary to reach retirement, while daydreaming of sustainable alternatives which save my hands yet fuel my curiosity for the human experience and my passion for adventure.

When I was asked to teach Myofascial Release to the community of Engeye, my first reaction was one of surprise.

I am not a doctor or a surgeon. I have nothing to offer this community but my two hands.

I offered to teach the doctors going on this medical mission and donate my teaching materials to the clinic.

Additionally, the trip was only two months away and I did not have the resources necessary on such short notice.

I respectfully declined.

The circumstances which unfolded in the weeks to follow were both humbling and heartwarming.

My declination wasn’t quite accepted.

People who believed my contribution was more valuable than I believed myself, came together to assist me in reversing my decision and accepting the opportunity to serve in Uganda.

My own community jumped on board and helped raise funds to assist me in making the trip a reality and provided limitless kind words and affirmations that my two hands as well as my heart and head had much to contribute.

My family insisted that they could hold down the fort and blessed my opportunity.

I have never felt more appreciated.

To return my appreciation and document my experience, I blogged throughout the trip. I wanted to bring my supporters along with me and share the magic I knew was to come.

Admittedly, my excitement was coupled with doubts that I would live up to my peers. I was also worried that I would get some awful sickness or disease, and anxious about leaving my family.

I need not have worried.

My trip to Africa allowed me to reflect on my life’s work and recognize the worth of my path.

2 Hands 1 Therapist Blog – My first and Last posts and reflections upon return

Presence is Powerful

Today's insight for me was all about the power in being available and present for human connection.

This is one of the first lessons learned as a body worker and one of the first lessons taught during the Orientations held in my years at the Massage school.

Halfway across the world there is often so little to offer when compared to the resources available back home.

However, those resources are riddled with restrictions and guidelines which pull the practitioner away from the patient and distract from what most health professionals entered their journey for in the first place. Patient. Care.

Patient care. Having the patience to care for another. Being emotionally present in the presence of another.

This is something which is a given in this community with minimal resources.

I am overcome with awe each time a child walks up to one of us as a perfect stranger and holds our hand and walks with us for a while. Or randomly hugs one of us and runs away.

When I talk to a patient, they look at me in my eyes and with humility surrender to whatever I can offer them with my hands.

It is so little and yet they receive it with such grace that it feels like the world.

Engeye Mosaic

The blending between Ugandan and American clinical skills and connection has grown far beyond anything I would have expected less than two weeks ago.

We have all learned so much and have enjoyed each other's company immensely. Our respect for each other and the assets we each bring to the team has been unparalleled for me.

Today was a mosaic of experiences and opportunities. We had a birth at the clinic, and I was able to give a hand early in the labor with back pain relief. Our team was instrumental in delivering the baby and following up on what could have been a complicated situation.

They pulled me back in to help mom following delivery, as she was in quite a bit of pain post-delivery.

We all commented during "talking stick time" about how much we appreciated our multidisciplinary team to depend on, how much we respected each other, and how much we would miss working in such an environment once we return home.

Things I Can't Unsee

The WhatsApp texts are coming in from my Team members. Everyone is struggling to synapse words into a small "sound byte" as well-intentioned people ask, "how was your trip?"

The challenge is that words are inadequate to describe the life experience we just had.

There are moments or events in your life which will forever demarcate it into 'before" and "after."

These are experiences which are so profound as to make it impossible to view your world in the same manner.

You can't "unsee" true poverty, social injustice, disparity in class, lack of resources, or starvation.

It is not enough to recognize how fortunate we are to have limitless and potable water, bountiful food resources, infrastructure for roads and garbage removal, or personal care items such as soap and feminine products.

My heart is full of gratitude for all those who supported my journey and received what I had to offer. My question of "what can two hands do?" has been answered. When two hands and conscious presence is the only thing available, it is the world to the receiver.

When such little is received with such graciousness, the line between who is the giver and who is the receiver, is blurred.

I'm not sure what actions will result from my shift in perspective. I'm not a "change the world" person. My guess is that no one can change the world, but we can each do something which changes someone's world.